


Not So Black And White

by savannahrunes



Series: Shades [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Dan, Coming Out, Fluff, Gender Identity, M/M, Supportive Boyfriend Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 11:13:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6236404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savannahrunes/pseuds/savannahrunes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Howell is not ashamed to admit that he spends too much of his time on the internet. But the click of a button quickly inspires him to rethink what he believes and feels about himself.<br/>Or themself.<br/>And it's freeing, liberating, terrifying, because they finally have a word that fits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not So Black And White

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
> I really hope you enjoy this fic, it's something I've been working on for a while now.  
> I must say that I am not agender or non-binary, so if I've described something wrong then I am truly very sorry. But I love the concept of agender!dan, and I really hope I've done it some justice. Please please let me know what you thought in the comments, they make my day.  
> I obviously do not own Dan or Phil, they are real people with real lives, and this is just a fictional interpretation of them.

Dan hits the scroll to top button, and refreshes his tumblr dashboard, the browsing position already having been assumed. It is 1 a.m., and Phil has already gone to bed, so Dan has stayed in his room for a while, with the intention of joining Phil in bed when he was ready. That had been their arrangement for a while on most nights, since Dan tends to stay up later than Phil and doesn’t want to disturb him, but still wants to sleep next to his boyfriend.

As usual, his dash is filled with a mixture of aesthetic and complete shit-posts, exactly how he likes it. He queues a few posts that caught his eye, namely a shrek meme and a few indie photographs.

He lets his mind wander as he scrolled, thinking about stuff that he usually keeps buried under the surface. Such as the thing with Phil, and how he is finally coming to the point where he might want to come out about it. They’ve been together for six years, and coming out has always been such a sensitive subject for him, particularly after one of their private videos got leaked. It had been a rocky time for their relationship, but they are finally in a good place again. _He_ is in a good place; with the book and the tour and just everything really. The past couple of years have been such good years for Dan and Phil, and he’s on a high that he hadn’t felt maybe since 2009, when he had first been falling in love with Phil.

There’s only one thing niggling at him, but that had always been there. The faint feeling of something not setting quite right. He’s never really been able to decide what it was, but he’s always felt a sort of…disconnection. He’s not really sure what to, but the feeling’s still there, sitting within him.

Having these thoughts turning over in his head was something he’s not done on a while. His life’s been so busy lately, and sometimes he forgets to just let himself breathe. It’s nice, but almost a bit scary to relax for a moment and let himself just think without the stress of the his life as a Youtuber.

His scrolling continues, the light of his laptop lighting up the otherwise dark room. His room always seems dark, with its dark bed covers and monochrome décor. It’s a contrast to the glaringly obvious brightness of Phil’s room, reflecting the contrast that they themselves brought to the relationship. They are a perfect blend of black and colour, of dark and light, of Dan and Phil. Dan often marvels at how lucky he was to find someone who fit so perfectly with him as Phil. He can’t stand to imagine where he would be if he hadn’t met Phil; he’s almost literally the light of Dan’s life. Everyone notices how happier he is around Phil, how much more he smiles and laughs and relaxes.

He checks the clock again, and finds that he’s already spent the last half an hour aimlessly scrolling. Time can slip away so easily whilst on the internet, and he’s often spent whole nights wasted away scrolling or reading or watching videos. It’s a habit that he is trying to get out of, but there is always still so much more to explore once you find yourself in the depths of the internet.

It is getting close to the point where he will force himself to switch the computer off and crawl into bed with Phil, who will undoubtedly already be asleep. The thought of Phil sleeping sends a warm feeling spreading through his body: how cute his boyfriend looks when he’s so peaceful in sleep with his hair sticking up in a quiff and his arms that always wrap around Dan instinctively even in sleep. It never fails to send a smile rushing to Dan’s face.

His mouse hovers above the scroll to top button of his dash, but he scrolls for another couple of minutes.

And then he finds a post that catches his eye, and before he knows it his mind is no longer on Phil in bed but on the screen before him, his eyes intently reading.

He’s heard the words before, the words _non-binary_ and _agender_ and _genderfluid_ and a few of the others. The knowledge of them is spreading faster on the internet now, which could only be a good thing, yet Dan is pretty sure if he didn’t literally spend half of his life on the internet he probably wouldn’t have even heard of them.

But Dan has never properly looked into them before, never researched what they really meant. And being Dan, he wants to know more, because he knows that there are people who identified as things outside of the gender binary, people even in his own fan base. He wants to become more educated, he supposes as he clicks through the link onto the post with definitions and further links.

Then he begins to read, and all concept of time flies out of the window because as soon as he starts reading he can’t stop. Dan has never really challenged his concept of gender, despite his surface knowledge that there were gender identities outside of the binary of ‘male’ and ‘female’, he has never really understood what that truly meant.

And now his whole idea of gender is being turned upside down because he’s realising that not everyone has to feel inherently connected to the typical ideas of gender, of male and female. That things are really not so black and white.

He’s taken the plunge and before he knew it he had about sixteen tabs open, each of them transgender and non-binary blogs and information pages. He can’t help but read more, clicking through links that catch his interest and that he wants to know more about. For some reason that he can’t quite decide, his heart has started to beat quite loudly in his chest. That’s probably his first sign that he has more than a passing interest in all of this, that perhaps this means more to him than some words on a computer screen.

He finds himself typing ‘what is gender?’ into google, and this leads to him realising that for the first time he doesn’t really know what the fuck gender really is. He’s always assumed that because he was born male that meant he automatically identified as a guy. It was something that he has never questioned, never even thought to question before.

Now though, with this new information swirling around in his brain he wonders for the first time if that isn’t really the case. If actually he might be more comfortable identifying as something other than a guy.

The minute the thought enters his head he begins to panic, because holy fuck this could change everything. And that scares the shit out of him if he’s totally honest. He’s never been one to embrace change, and something this huge, this monumental is really quite terrifying.

At the same time he can’t deny the feeling that he’s so often felt, that feeling of disconnection and slight uncomfortableness that he’s never been able to pinpoint.

Dan shuts his laptop quickly, his mind working at double speed. He can’t stop thinking, and any thoughts of sleep have rapidly flown out of the window. It’s already reached the early hours of the morning; he’d vowed to get into bed with Phil hours ago. Pale sunlight is already beginning to filter through his curtains, and despite his racing thoughts, Dan’s body is so tired.

He falls asleep on top of his covers, with his laptop still on his bed beside him.

* * *

 

Dan wakes up late the next day. It’s already gone midday, and there is a slight disorientation as he wakes up fully clothed in his own bed. He could’ve sworn that he was supposed to get into bed with Phil, but then he remembers what he had been researching the previous night and it makes a little bit more sense.

Dan stumbles out of bed and gets ready without thinking about what he’s doing. Phil is in the lounge, on his laptop.

“Hey,” he says as Dan walks in to join him with his cereal. “I tried to wake you up a couple of hours ago but you were totally unconscious. Are you okay?”

Dan swallows, and for once he isn’t completely sure of the answer. He had been terrified last night, and his emotions were sort of all over the place.

“I’m fine,” he says, but he knows that it lacks conviction.

Phil looks at him and he knows that he’s not convinced him. “Are you sure? You didn’t come to bed last night, and you seem a bit out of it.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just got a little…distracted.”

Maybe he looks a bit tired or his emotions are showing on his face, because Phil leans in close to Dan and kisses him on the cheek, smiling at him. Phil’s smile always brightens any room, and just the sight of it makes Dan feel better and happier and safe.

“I love you, you know that,” says Phil, and Dan finds himself smiling back.

“I know. Love you too.”

Dan finishes his cereal sitting next to his boyfriend, the next episode of the anime they’re currently watching playing on the TV. When he’s done he snuggles down and asks Phil if they could just spend the whole day doing nothing but cuddling and watching TV.

Phil laughs and kisses Dan chastely on the mouth before readily agreeing, and Dan knows that he’s home.

* * *

Phil is out and Dan has taken to his laptop again. He has tabs galore open, each one relating back to gender. He hasn’t been able to take his mind off it since that night, and he knows that that means something in itself. It’s all confusing as fuck, but Dan has been thinking about it all a lot as well. He knows that he tends to get a little obsessed with things very quickly but even his various existential crises haven’t felt as important as this. This feels like an answer to something that he’s always needed, always craved deep down, but has never thought to question.

He keeps coming back to the same word, the word ‘agender’. As he reads about the definition, about how it can mean many things, including not identifying with any gender and seeing yourself more of a person and not as any particular gender. The idea of being disconnected from this notion of gender that has all of a sudden become quite constraining seems to be something that makes sense within his head.

He’s not entirely sure when or how it happens, but there is a ‘holyfuckingshitIthinkthisisactuallyme’ moment in which Dan has to stop and look away from the screen. His own feelings, which he has rarely even considered until now, seem to fall into place.

There’s something a little bit awesome about this feeling, but Dan is very quickly overcome by the overwhelming nature of it all. This changes so much, it changes things that he thought he was assured in the knowledge of. It means working things out about himself and telling other people and fuck. Discovering and accepting that he was bisexual had been tough enough for him, but this was something else entirely. This wasn’t about who he’s attracted to, but who he _is._

Despite that, he can’t deny that reading the word agender feels so right. It corresponds so clearly with what he’s feeling, and in spite of the shock of it all, it feels so good.

The conflict within his emotions is swirling in his mind, taking over his thoughts. He finds that he’d moved away from his laptop, which still has all of the tabs open.

Before he knows it, he’s on the floor in the hallway. Phil had named the hallway the ‘existential crisis hallway’ because Dan always seems to end up there when he’s deep into an existential crisis. This time it wasn’t so much of an existential crisis, more of a crisis of gender identity, which was something that had never happened before for him.

Phil comes home to find Dan still lying in the hallway face down. “Dan?” he questions. “What is it this time?”

Dan looks up a little to see Phil looking down at him, fondness tugging at his lips. In that instant he knows that there’s no chance that he’ll be able to hide any of this from Phil. Phil knows him far too well; they’ve lived together for four years and they’ve been together even longer. But more than that, Phil is the best part of him, and he’d feel miserable trying to hide something so huge from his boyfriend.

“Phil,” he begins to say, but words are getting stuck on his tongue. He wants to say the words, but that means making it real, not just something in his head. He sits up, looking into Phil’s eyes. “I…it’s different. Instead of questioning the universe or the meaning of life, I’m questioning something much closer. I’m questioning myself.”

Phil’s eyes grow concerned, and he sits down facing Dan. “Tell me, Dan. Are you okay?”

Phil has always been good at sensing when something is up with Dan, and he’s always been there to listen. He seems to have a knack for asking the right questions at the right times, something which Dan loves about him. “I…what is gender? What the fuck is my gender? Why am I only realising now that I think that I’m non-binary? That I’m agender?”

He feels better, lighter, as soon as the words leave his lips. It’s real now, but that’s exactly what Dan needed. He needed to tell someone because otherwise he would’ve sat on his thoughts for too long hiding this important thing from his best friend and boyfriend, and that wouldn’t be a good combination for Dan.

Dan waits on Phil’s reaction and it’s only a couple of seconds but it feels like years between Dan saying the words and Phil responding.

But Phil’s response isn’t just with words. The first thing he does is leans forwards, melding their lips together in a kiss. It’s sweet and soft, Phil’s fingers touching Dan’s cheek so lightly, and Dan melts into the contact. He can feel his body becoming more relaxed under Phil’s touch, all the tension seeping out of it. He feels safe, he feels at home.

When they break apart, Phil is the first one to speak. “Dan, I love you. I love you so much, and you’re so valid no matter what you identify as. If identifying as agender makes you happier and more comfortable than identifying as a guy, then I will support you all the way.”

This time it’s Dan who kisses Phil. He had no idea much he had been craving those words coming from Phil until they were spoken, and now he’s just so happy and relieved that Phil knows and will support him.

“Thank you,” he says, and there are tears welling up in his eyes. He rarely gets so emotional, but he’s dangerously close to tears. “I love you so much, Phil.”

Dan leans in, breathing in Phil’s scent. He’s overcome with love for his boyfriend, and he’s just happy that they’re on the same page and can approach this together. As much as this is a personal thing, as it’s solely about Dan and how he feels and identifies, he needs someone to just be there, someone who knows and just accepts who he is.

“Do you want me to use different pronouns for you? Or a different name even?”

In truth, Dan hasn’t got that far yet. He’s spent all his time so far concluding that he is, in fact, agender. But since agender is essentially feeling disconnected from the notions of gender, Dan’s not sure how he feels using gendered pronouns.

“I don’t know…I mean, I think that Dan is still fine, but I’m really unsure about pronouns. It would just be easier to carry on using he/him…”

Phil’s arms wrap around his shoulders. “Dan, it’s not about what’s easy. I’m no expert, but I know for a fact that gender is not about what’s easy. It’s about what feels right for you, about what feels most comfortable.”

Dan lets out a shaky breath. “I know. That’s what’s kinda scary, because everything’s going to change. And I…I think that…” He has to pause, but Phil looks at him with nothing but endearment in his eyes, and that gives Dan a bit of strength. “I think that maybe I would be more comfortable not using gendered pronouns, but I’m not too sure. I’m still so confused about it all to be honest.”

“I’ll use whatever pronouns you decide you prefer. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable.”

“Thank you,” Dan says, cuddling up closer to Phil.

They lie in the hallway for a little while, cuddling on the floor. Dan hasn’t felt anything so good in a while.

* * *

 

Dan’s started to use they and them pronouns for themself, and once they start everything falls into place. Dan feels vastly more comfortable this way, and they feel more connected to their agender identity in a way they never have before.

It’s a quiet Saturday evening, and Dan is curled up on the sofa next to Phil, a movie playing and a bowl of popcorn nestled between them. If they’re honest, they’re not paying much attention to the movie; they’re just content to spend a couple of hours not worrying about anything.

The credits start rolling, and Phil switches the TV off and smiles down at them, still wearing his glasses.

“We are the picture of domesticity,” says Dan, causing the smile on Phil’s lips widen even further. “Cuddling on the sofa, movie nights….the list goes on.”

“The phandom would implode if they knew how hideously fluffy we really are,” responds Phil.

At the mention of their fan base, Dan’s quiet content begins to slip away. They’ve tried to avoid thinking about it, about the fact that they have five million subscribers who have no clue that they’ve realised their gender identity. It’s somehow different to them not knowing about them and Phil; because whilst virtually everyone suspects that there is something between the two of them, they know that this is totally a shock to everyone.

Despite Dan usually spending about ninety-five percent of their spare time on the internet, they’ve actually been avoiding twitter and youtube and tumblr lately. They don’t particularly want to face the phandom right now, mostly because they know how oblivious everyone is and that they will just see constant misgendering.

Phil must’ve noticed something change in Dan’s face, because he leans forwards and kisses their brow. “Are you okay, Bear? You’ve not made, or had any plans to make, a video for a couple of weeks now, and I know that you’ve barely been on social media as well.”

Sometimes, Phil is too perceptive for his own good.

Dan sighs. “I know, I know. I’ve been putting off making a video; if I’m honest I’m just kind of avoiding the phandom at the moment. Since…figuring this stuff out about myself, I’ve been so happy because I can finally identify what this feeling I’ve always had really is. And you’ve been so amazing and supportive. But I don’t know if I can face five million people at the moment, especially five million people who will, albeit unintentionally, be misgendering me.”

They’re now looking straight into Phil’s utterly familiar blue-green eyes, and they see the amount of love and care within them. It makes Dan feel warm inside, just knowing that. “It’s okay to feel that. I can’t say that I get it, but I can see where you’re coming from. It must be hard because I know you, and I know that you’re not ready to come out with this yet. But the obliviousness of the fans and everyone else must be hard.”

“Yeah, I mean I thought it was hard keeping our relationship hidden, but this just feels different.”

Phil takes their hand and squeezes it. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out, you always do. And I’m here for you, obviously. But seriously, maybe consider making a video. I know that you love it, and doing something you love might be a good thing for you.”

Dan kisses Phil then, putting passion and feeling into it. “Speaking of doing things I love…”

Laughing, Phil pulls Dan down so their lips reconnect. “You’re such a dork, Dan,” he mumbles against Dan’s lips, igniting the warmth in them once again.

* * *

 

In the end, Dan made a video the next day, following Phil’s infallible advice. They did feel better after; making videos was their way to relax and let go and become danisnotonfire for the camera, as opposed to the Dan they were in real life.

They’d replied to a few tweets after uploading, but they’d still been keeping off social media, mainly to avoid the feeling they got when they see people using the wrong pronouns. They know that it’s not the fans’ fault, but they can’t help the twist they feel in their gut when they see it.

They’re currently sitting with Phil, editing the latest gaming video in a baggy sweater that falls past their hands, creating sweater paws. They’re pretty sure that it came from the girls’ section of the website they bought it off about a week ago, but they don’t give a fuck anymore: clothes are clothes and they’ll wear whatever they want

Phil is adding a few more things to their videos: a dramatic zoom in on Dan’s face at one point, a slow motion replay of one of the funniest moments. Dan loves filming gaming videos: it’s an excuse to spend a few hours with their best friend and boyfriend goofing around whilst playing video games. They can’t believe that they can qualify that as an aspect of their job.

“Dan, is there anything else you want to add?” asks Phil, glancing away from the computer screen to look at them.

Dan shakes their head. “I think it’s basically ready to be uploaded.”

As Phil begins to turn back to the screen, Dan suddenly says, “I think I’m going to do a liveshow tonight.”

They’ve not done a liveshow in about three weeks, making up excuses on twitter but in reality they weren’t sure if they could sit and talk to the fans for a whole hour. But at the moment they feel content and comfortable, and they admit that they do miss interacting with their fans.

Phil smiles at them. “That’s good. That’s really good actually, Dan.”

Dan smiles back, and the happy bubble within them swells. The two of them turn back to editing and uploading their video, and though everything feels as though it’s changed, nothing really has.

* * *

 

Dan and Phil are filming a collab with Louise, and it’s one of the funniest videos that they’ve filmed in a long time. As always, Louise is fun and bubbly, and Dan’s sides genuinely hurt from laughing about five minutes in. He knows the fans will love it too; they’ve virtually been begging for another collab with Louise for months, and it’s high time it finally happened.

Everything goes so well for the first video they film for Dan’s channel, and after a lunch break, which involves even more hilarity, they start to film one for Louise’s channel. Dan’s face is beaming from smiling so much, and they are really very happy; this is one of the things they love about Youtube, getting to hang around with friends and play games and call it their job. Louise, who has known about Dan and Phil’s relationship for years, makes a few comments about it which she promptly promises to edit out, but it does remind Dan how much they trust her and how good of a friend they consider her.

It’s not until the end of the video that something goes amiss. Louise is signing off, and she makes such a casual comment but it makes Dan squirm.

“Make sure to check out these boys, they’re my faves…”

It’s such a simple thing, calling them boys, but Dan can feel their smile immediately drop. Phil looks at them, his eyes widening slightly, and Dan shifts a little, their hand coming up to their face and messing with their fringe because they don’t know what to do with themselves.

Dan’s sure that they’ve ruined the last shot of the video with the expression on their face, but Louise smiles and switches off the camera, before turning to them.

“Dan?” She seems a little confused. “Are you okay? Are you unhappy with the video?”

Dan puts their smile back on. “No, Lou. The video was great, it’s nothing. I’m just being silly.”

At that, Phil immediately becomes the supportive boyfriend. “You’re not being silly, Dan. Anything but.”

“Okay, I have definitely missed something,” says Louise, and she’s so oblivious that it makes Dan cringe, because she genuinely has no idea that she’s said anything wrong.

And now Dan is overwhelmed with the urge to tell her, to say the words to someone other than Phil. They know that they can trust Louise; she’s one of their best friends, and they can’t live the rest of their life not telling anybody. It’s been weeks since they first realised that they’re agender, and they’re growing more comfortable with it by the day.

So Dan looks at Phil, then back at Louise, takes a deep breath and says, “It’s just…I’ve realised something kinda recently about myself, and Phil’s the only person who I’ve told so far. But I don’t want to keep it bottled up from my friends, from the people I love forever.”

They glance over at Louise, who looks confused but doesn’t say anything and waits for them to carry on speaking. Phil looks a little shocked, but gives Dan a smile of encouragement, which gives Dan the confidence to know that they are doing the right thing.

“I’m agender, which means that I don’t identify as either male or female, or any gender really. And I would really love it if you use they/them pronouns when referring to me.”

It feels liberating to have the words out there, and Dan is happy that they managed to do it. Honestly, they’re surprised they didn’t stutter or completely muck it up, knowing how awkward they usually are.

Next to them, Louise looks a little surprised, but she gives him one of her trademark, beaming smiles and then proceeds to envelope them in a crushing hug, causing Dan to laugh a little. They wrapped their arms around her and hugged her back, smiling at Phil from over Louise’s shoulder.

“I love you Dan, and I’ll support you 100%. Thank you for telling me, and I think it’s awesome that you discovered that about yourself,” she says, muffled by Dan’s shoulder.

They pull back and can’t contain their smile as they look at Louise. “Thank you so much. You’ve got no idea what your support means to me.”

“Anytime, Dan. You know I’ll always be there for you.”

Louise beams at them, and Dan is grinning back, infinitely happy to be in the same room as two people who were genuinely amazing to them. They know that they will always have their friends and Phil around them.

* * *

 

It’s Sunday evening, and Phil is in the lounge doing his liveshow. Dan’s in the kitchen, knocking together a stir fry for their dinner with Phil’s liveshow playing in the background. If they can, they always try and tune in to Phil’s liveshows for a little bit; it's cute to see the way their boyfriend interacts with the fans.

Phil is talking about his house plants, and showing the camera his cactus. Dan smiles at the screen; they love the way Phil gets so passionate about so many little things like this. It’s one of the many quirks that Dan fell in love with, and continues to love to this day.

The topic has shifted, and now Phil is talking about an incident that had happened earlier that week which he’d tweeted about: when Phil had nearly burnt the building down after leaving the cooker on for three hours. Dan grins at the memory, and at the way Phil describes it, so animatedly and full of life.

“Dan couldn’t stop laughing afterwards though, as for some reason they always seem to find my misfortunates absolutely hilarious.”

It’s something so simple, using the right pronouns, but Dan is pretty sure it’s the first time Phil has done it on camera for the fans to see. They’re also pretty sure that he’s not even done it intentionally, that he has drilled it in by now that using any other pronouns for Dan would be weird for him, just as they know it must’ve been weird to use they and them pronouns to begin with.

They don’t know whether anyone will pick up on it, since it’s something that’s small and doesn’t exactly scream ‘by the way Dan’s non-binary’ as he only said it once, but the idea that someone might notice doesn’t phase them they thought it would. In fact, they must admit that there is a little part that wants someone to notice and question it, because it would make things so much easier.

Though it’s only been about two months since they discovered that they’re agender, there’s a part of them that can see them telling the internet in the near future. There’s still a part of them that’s terrified by the idea of telling people, but the way Phil casually uses the right pronouns ignites a longing for everyone around them to do so also.

Ten minutes later, and Phil joins them in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist. “Smells good, bear.”

Dan smiles and kisses Phil chastely, before turning back to the food. Phil notices that that younow is open on Dan’s phone on the counter, and says, “You were watching?”

They nod as they begin to dish out the food. “Of course. You’re always so cute in your liveshows.” They pause for a moment and say, “You used the right pronouns.”

Phil looks a bit startled; clearly he hadn’t even realised it. “Oh, I guess I did. I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to, I wasn’t thinking…”

“No, actually I’m glad you did. It’s not something that I want to hide forever.”

“When you’re completely ready to share, you know that I’ll help you in any way I can.”

“I know, Phil.” They laugh a little. “You’re sickeningly sweet with your support when it comes to this.”

Phil shoves them a little and smiles. “You would take sickeningly sweet any day, Dan Howell, because at heart you are a complete sucker for anything remotely fluffy.”

“You know me too well.”

“And yet I love you anyway.”

Dan’s heart soars, because he’s right. Phil know everything about them, from the way they scream at the TV whenever something gets vaguely emotional, to the way they worry about what people think of them constantly. Their endearing quirks and their fatal flaws, the side of Dan Howell that the internet never gets to see. He knows that things aren’t black and white with Dan, and that this recent revelation has only proved that they won’t ever be.

And he loves them anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally planning on making this fic longer and including Dan coming out to the internet, but I got here and thought that actually this was a good place to leave it. I may write a sequel in the future, but we'll have to see  
> Find me on [tumblr](http://maychang.co.vu/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/alchemyhowell)


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